Second cancellation

Three months shy from my unexpected spine surgery in February this year, I booked a flight to Boracay, which was recently awarded by the Travel+Leisure Magazine as the world’s best island destination for 2012. This would have been my first travel alone. But my ticket will be shelved for now and will never be used ever, as I need to take a backseat in travelling and vacationing.

Yesterday, pain in my back grew so fast that I woke up just fine, but as I progressed through the day, pain was all that I felt in my every move and that I ended my day hardly making through the staircase up to my bedroom. It was the same challenge when I needed to have the surgery done on me.

Back in 2010, I had the same planned vacation to Boracay cancelled, with all the tickets already paid. It was about a broken relationship which is a different story altogether.

Oh well. I am not going to complain. This is my body and I only have one shot at it. Lucky that I was given the chance to decide if it is a go or a no go for the travel. I am choosing not to go. This is my body and I have to obey it. I need to be well, according to my body’s own pace and time.

It cannot be hurried.

It cannot be severed.

It cannot be compromised.

Maybe next year. And I hope Boracay will still be the same (or even better). My love for the beach will gladly take a backseat. For now.

Of calories, strength and joy

It’s not just about the calories I burn and the strength I build. I keep running within the metropolis parks because in every run, I keep discovering new things about the city. I continue knowing myself. It makes me appreciate life. It gives me joy in understanding myself and my surroundings. After all, happy people are those who know how to appreciate a simple view no matter what or where it is. It just requires one to know himself, looking at the brighter side of every thing, every time.

But that was yesterday. It has been 5 months since I last jogged. Not out of my not wanting or doing it because I was limited to not doing it, medically. I had a spine surgery early in February. It really was not my choice but a decision me and my surgeon had to jointly decide on because of the need. And the rest is history.

Today, I am feeling all the pain in my legs. And back. Again.

Tomorrow? It has become uncertain since the day I was promised by the surgeon to become better and be able to go back to my usual activities in a period of two months. I was told to be able to go back to swimming, running and surfing. To date, I still am not able to do any of these.

Wherefore now, will the calories, strength and joy take their abode?

Project Zero

If the people around you say move on, would you… if there is something in you that says hold on? Is it a question of who and what to trust? Or is it a case of why and when to trust people’s opinions other than yours? Will it make any difference if for once, you hear what others are saying and stop giving yourself an indifferent excuse? Maybe it’s about time. It’s been months. Or has it been years? Maybe it’s time. To do something different for some different longing. As they say it, stop doing the same thing over and over if you want a different result.